Tag Archives: Random

Light My Fire – The Aphrodisiac

21 Feb
2012

Sharon and Darren were out on what was officially their third date. Being such an auspicious occasion, he had brought her to the swankiest restaurant in town overlooking the bay. They both sat perusing the menu with Darren’s eyes immediately scanning the list of entrees. Underneath the kingfish and salmon lay the particular item he had been hoping for.

Oysters.

He had heard they were meant to be an aphrodisiac, ‘The perfect accompaniment to start what will hopefully be a perfect evening with Sharon’.

Or so he thought.

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For a Laugh: Shit Nonna’s Say

7 Feb
2012

I spent this past Sunday at my Nonna and Nonno’s place eating risotto, drinking wine, having naps, discussing life over a cup of tea and eating a few too many apricot-flavoured fagottini.

My Nonna is generous, pure of heart and just plain gorgeous. You may find it a little strange that I felt ‘inspired’ to post this particular video. My Nonna does not have a fiery temper, nor does she speak in a thick southern Italian accent and dialect. Nonetheless, this video is hilarious. It will make you laugh and may bring back hilarious memories for some, or nightmares for others…

Enjoy.

Drink often, drink well: Len Evans’ Theory of Consumption

17 Jan
2012
Len Evans, relaxing, wine, reading

The late Len Evans consuming wine

I picked up the vibrating iPhone, noting my sister’s face flashing up onto the screen.

Hey sis, what’s up?’

‘Liana is going to make homemade gnocchi from scratch tomorrow for all of us girls. Do you want to come?’

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Do you honestly think that I needed any form of persuasion?

‘Just make sure you bring along a wine, as always,’ she reminded me, and then hung up.

Oh of course. The wine.

That was an easy enough mission. I have an abundance of wine in my possession and relish any opportunity to be able to drink and share the bottles. The last thing I want is to end up like one of those hoarders you see on A Current Affair, where their house is piled up with useless nonsense dispersed amongst a standard quota of two dozen cats. Would you like newspapers from every day in the year 1993? How about a collection of salad spinners in varying shades from forest green to putrid pink? Oh and don’t forget the recycled bottles and cans that they were planning on taking over to South Australia one day. While I am nowhere near having those inclinations, I like to keep those examples for myself as a warning. A warning to make sure that I am continually imbibing and wearing down my stocks.

It’s not just any wine either. It’s wine that I love, that I look forward to trying, that I’ve never tasted before, that I want to share with someone in particular, and that I will appreciate. Life’s too short to be buying cases upon cases of wine. Especially when most of the time I like trying something new, whether it is a producer, grape variety or vintage. In my case, to choke myself with mountains of the same wine is actually an inhibition on my learning.

This thinking has led me to share the most logical wine consumption theory I have heard thus far. It is by none other than the late Len Evans. Written in 1979 for the Australian Wine Browser collection of short stories, ladies and gentlemen, I present:

THEORY OF CONSUMPTION

By Len Evans

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Life’s a Beach

3 Jan
2012

Bear with me.

It may be considered an aberration upon my character when I become a little deep and serious, but a recent outing to the shores of Jan Juc beach, prompted the following period of cogitation on the way of the world. Plus, I love when I can adopt the clichéd phrase, ‘metaphorically speaking‘.

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To train the growth, or go all bush?

28 Nov
2011

What did you think this would be?

I dissertation that discussed the potential benefits in ‘To groom, or not to groom your nether regions?’

As much as I would like to venture into great detail on the topic (I kid), this is a blog that is read most eagerly by none other than my mother, which tends to prevent ghastly filth from pouring from my mouth and onto the keyboard. I have heard that it is probably a good thing to be tamed.

Continuing on, the play on words at least allowed me to demonstrate my cunning punning expertise.

I will call it my ‘cun pun‘, for short.

white man afrored hair afro vintagediana ross afro, vintage

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Love and Marriage and Wine Labels…

22 Nov
2011

Love and marriage. A classically predictable combination.

But love and marriage and wine labels? Perhaps not so in most cases, but I shall highlight how one day, not so many moons ago, these three became inextricably linked.

I have never considered myself an artist by any means. I did grow up though with a creatively charged mother fostering my finger painting/plaster fun house/pottery talents, as well as falling for that appendage on Mr Squiggle and making sure the ABC’s other godsend Art Attack was a permanent fixture in my weekly television intake. The teenage years saw my high school offer us students every art medium possible. I gave life drawing a go. I read and began grasping the technique of Naoko Takeuchi’s manga, before dappling with waterpaints as shown by my mother for how best to capture a memory when travelling overseas. Despite the various creative outlets I was given the opportunity to trial, there was one style that stayed strong and true wherever I would go. Close friends and family, in particular colleagues from past places of work, have at one stage or another been the victim of random cartoon sketches by yours truly during my employment. The most memorable was during my five month stint at Henschke winery in the Eden Valley. At the end of the working day I would occasionally loiter in the winemaker’s office/laboratory, whiteboard marker in hand, waiting for my unsuspecting victims to leave, before then leaping onto their desk and beginning an elaborate caricature of one of the employees. I think I chose my first suspect well. It just so happened to be the unassuming Stephen Henschke who walked into the office bright and early the next day to analyse the work board, only to be confronted by a strange cartoon likeness of himself on the adjacent side. Suffice to say that I think he was impressed, considering that I got asked to continue working post-vintage to assist in the cellar long after that sketch had first appeared.

Phew.

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Bendin’ it like Beckham – Starlight Foundation Chef’s Soccer Cup

1 Nov
2011

SUNDAY 23rd OCTOBER 2011

Here is my recollection of the enjoyable but competitive Chef’s Soccer Cup using photos and live footage that may not have anything to do with the particular games. It is also a homage to any closet Ricky Martin fans. Yes you.

All proceeds and donations went to the Starlight Foundation who organised the event.

Look out for lucky number 13. That’s me.

The Royal Melbourne Wine Show 2011 – Two Heads Are Better Than One

25 Oct
2011

I once stumbled across a collection of words followed by a gorgeous photograph in a magazine that I used to find quite witty, but which has now fallen to that infuriating level of try-hard.

Hence, I subscribe to it no longer.

I may or may not have written them a letter reading,

Dear off-the-pulse editor of the magazine,
Farewell. You no longer fulfil me.
Signed,
Krystina 

The point is however, that I believed in the motivational strength of these words so much that I applied it as somewhat of a philosophy for myself to work on in the year 2011 and beyond.

“Get out there. Share your ideas. Find your kinships. Start something new. Two heads are better than one.”

Edie Sedgewick and film director Ray Wisniewski in conversation at Andy Warhol

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The Philosophy of Life – La Filosofia di Vita

4 Oct
2011

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses
of wine…

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Random: Life in Song

20 Sep
2011

I am under the impression that there is a song for everything.

The good.

The bad.

The happy.

The sad.

If someone were to observe my general behaviour over the course of 24 hours, they would soon come to the realisation that I am one of those really pesky people who constantly have random tunes winding their way through my brain, which then find themselves projectile from my mouth in the form of unbearable singing.

How the Beach Boys envisioned their "God Only Knows" track from the Pet Sounds album

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Video: Homemade Winemaking [1996] – The Australian-Italian Way

4 Aug
2011

This movie was filmed by my mother Christine back in 1996.

To indicate the times, there is a moustache in this film worn by John. A.

This is what my brothers, sister and I grew up with in Werribee South.

The film was edited and ‘polished’ by the daughter Krystina (me) some fifteen years later in 2011.

If you can squander some time aside then I hope you enjoy it, because we have only embarrassed ourselves by publishing it.

Random & Twisted: A letter to Gianduia

26 Jul

2011

Question: Why the letter to ‘Gianduia’? Answer: Randomness and because I can.

Dearest Gianduia,

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Music: Who threw the whisky in the well?

19 Jul
2011

Sung by Wynonie Harris with Lucky Millinder and his Orchestra, 1944.

On a side note, I will point out now that I have added a video element to the top tab section of my site for those of you who have not yet noticed. Enter there if you dare.

Random: The Geek. The Poet. The Loner

5 Jul
2011

Growing up, I have always been a geek. I was even the teacher’s pet.

If you’re one of my friends, or have met me previously and know how I roll, then that’s not too difficult a concept to imagine or believe.

I am a proud geek though, Buddy Holly glasses and all.

The ever-so-cool Buddy Holly

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TWO Ladies of Wine = DUE Donne del Vino

28 Jun
2011

Two Ladies of Wine...kinda like Two Fat Ladies??

My oh my there is another La Donna del Vino on the other side of the hemisphere! Check out this gorgeous Italian sommelier talking about Garganega (the white grape used to make Soave in the Veneto region).

Should I mention that it’s all in Italian??

It doesn’t matter. She sounds gorgeous, and oh happy days if you can understand her.

Not sure about the 1980’s music in the background though…

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Random: Warner Brothers Pepé le Pew – Little Beau Pepé IN ITALIAN!

17 Jun
2011

Warner Brothers Pepé le Pew aka Little Beau Pepé

IN ITALIAN with French accent! Un po’ strano (a little strange)!

A tale: D’accordo with the accordion

7 Jun
2011

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, a shiny accordion of colossal proportions lay in its heavy leather case in the living room of a grand house. The accordion was often loved and cared for by its original owner, Mr Giovanni Menegazzo (known amongst friends as Jack), who would pick up his accordion with pride and play entertaining melodies on its keys and buttons.

This was Nonno Jack. A handsome man indeed.

Nonno Jack playing an accordion

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Random: Joke on finishing things

5 Jun
2011

Finishing Things

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.

Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So…

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Ramblings: Pronunciation “The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain” and “Shaddup you face”

31 May
2011

Snapshot from My Fair Lady

Mostly people will complain or berate someone for enunciating a word incorrectly. Hell, I’m guilty! My mother struggles with many a word, but I suppose her most famous is referring to the Japanese number game Sudoku (pronounced like SUE-DOOR-KU) as Sodooko (yeah…SUE-DOO-KOE). Wrong. So obviously wrong.

Yet what about the others who tease someone for pronouncing things CORrectly!?! This is something that happens to me all the bloody time. Bloody bloody bloody. Watch your mouth, young lady…Ahhh shaddup you face! (see end of post)

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Random: To make you smile :-)

20 May
2011

 “Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy” – Anna Frank (1929-1945)

Photograph by Recovering Lazyholic - Erin Hanson (click photo for link)

Too feverishly gorgeous not to post.

Drink a delicious bottle of wine and have a dandy weekend!