Sharon and Darren were out on what was officially their third date. Being such an auspicious occasion, he had brought her to the swankiest restaurant in town overlooking the bay. They both sat perusing the menu with Darren’s eyes immediately scanning the list of entrees. Underneath the kingfish and salmon lay the particular item he had been hoping for.
Oysters.
He had heard they were meant to be an aphrodisiac, ‘The perfect accompaniment to start what will hopefully be a perfect evening with Sharon’.
Or so he thought.
You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Girl, we couldn’t get much higher
Come on baby, light my fire
Come on baby, light my fire
Try to set the night on fire
——————————-
Say it with me now.
“APHRODISIACS.”
I can’t imagine there are many people who have not heard of the ubiquitous link with oysters and the fact that they are meant to increase ones sexual desire. It is, after all, one of the famous medical myths.
Apart from oysters providing a number of valued mineral components in our diet (primarily zinc), there has been no conclusive evidence that eating them alone will lead to a night of passionate romance in the bedroom. Poor Darren. Consuming a high number of oysters may not make him entirely randy but it is necessary for a healthy diet and will boost his testosterone levels to a degree. Casanova was known to eat around 50 oysters a day. Admitting that he successfully seduced 122 women in his memoirs, I imagine this would be his suggestion for Darren to tempt Sharon into his arms later that evening.
“I placed the shell on the edge of her lips and after a good deal of laughing, she sucked in the oyster, which she held between her lips. I instantly recovered it by placing my lips on hers.”
Boom.
I have no intention for this to be a post that focuses entirely on oysters. Hell no. All this talk of romance has got me thinking about wine. After all, that is where my true passion lies.
Jay Rayner, food critic for UK newspaper The Observer agrees: “There is only one truly ingestible aphrodisiac and that’s the grape, after it’s fermented.”
Not everybody discusses wine in such a whimsical fashion as I like to. Some people abhor it. I like to think that there is a place for each and every one of us and our thoughts, no matter how niche, because it will inevitably appeal to someone.
I leave you with Matt Kramer, writer for the Wine Spectator magazine, who in accordance with that notion in his latest piece, is decrying the sterility coming over some in the professional wine world with their focus on scores and less on the written component affiliated with it.
“Wine requires romance. Now this may strike you as an odd ‘Certainty,” but hear me out. Out of the features of our wine era has been a rejection of wine romance. Winemakers now style themselves as enologists; the qualities of wines are classed as “organoleptic” (which sounds like a vegan shoplifter). University professors decry descriptors such as “elegant” or “finesse.” If it can’t be measured, it ain’t real.
Romance is wine’s seduction. And without seduction, well, we all know that very little happens. Romance entices us to more closely attend to wine’s subtleties. And it makes us reach for our wallets.
People can say what they like (or don’t like) about scores. But without the accompanying words – and not just any words, but romantic ones – nobody dreams.
And without dreams, fine wine loses its grip. Of this I am certain.”
Kirk Douglas had the right idea for seducing Faye Dunaway. Photograph by Corbis Corporation
La Donna del Vino 
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