The late Len Evans consuming wine

I picked up the vibrating iPhone, noting my sister’s face flashing up onto the screen.

‘Hey sis, what’s up?’

‘Liana is going to make homemade gnocchi from scratch tomorrow for all of us girls. Do you want to come?’

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Do you honestly think that I needed any form of persuasion?

‘Just make sure you bring along a wine, as always,’ she reminded me, and then hung up.

Oh of course. The wine.

That was an easy enough mission. I have an abundance of wine in my possession and relish any opportunity to be able to drink and share the bottles. The last thing I want is to end up like one of those hoarders you see on A Current Affair, where their house is piled up with useless nonsense dispersed amongst a standard quota of two dozen cats. Would you like newspapers from every day in the year 1993? How about a collection of salad spinners in varying shades from forest green to putrid pink? Oh and don’t forget the recycled bottles and cans that they were planning on taking over to South Australia one day. While I am nowhere near having those inclinations, I like to keep those examples for myself as a warning. A warning to make sure that I am continually imbibing and wearing down my stocks.

It’s not just any wine either. It’s wine that I love, that I look forward to trying, that I’ve never tasted before, that I want to share with someone in particular, and that I will appreciate. Life’s too short to be buying cases upon cases of wine. Especially when most of the time I like trying something new, whether it is a producer, grape variety or vintage. In my case, to choke myself with mountains of the same wine is actually an inhibition on my learning.

This thinking has led me to share the most logical wine consumption theory I have heard thus far. It is by none other than the late Len Evans. Written in 1979 for the Australian Wine Browser collection of short stories, ladies and gentlemen, I present:

THEORY OF CONSUMPTION

By Len Evans

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Tags: Len Evans, Random, Story, Wine